#and there was nobody around to stop me
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#arcane#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#tw: blood#tw: injuries#just wanted to draw something cute#and there was nobody around to stop me#the narrative in my head is that Jayce caused an explosion in the lab and was trying to be cute by apologizing by âkissing it betterâ#but in the undercity they don't do that (probably on account of everyone and everything being filthy all the time)#so it's way more confusing to Viktor than it is cute~ lol#thanks for coming to my tag story - the end#pidgy drew#digital art#artists on tumblr
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hey in ur peri animatic: (https://youtu.be/OCqlRuDaXYU?si=K52WDu_vw9rg7chz) that I have been permanently obsessed over since today and have watched about 20 times by now so much that I have drawn & posted stuff based on it what was that partial bug form peri had?
I havenât watched either of the show btw so if itâs explained in the show please tell me plsssss
OK, SO the bug thing is not technically canon to the series. It's based on my own headcanons for fairy biology, but i do have justifications for it!! Fairies have very strong shape-shifting abilities, so it would make sense that the form they show to humans isn't necessarily their true form(not to mention extreme that mimicry is very common in insects). And you want to know the visible traits almost every fairy has in common? Being very small with Insect-like wings.
The fact that their humanoid form isn't their true form in actually confirmed in the show! Cosmo and Wanda are revealed to look like biblically accurate pseudo-angels in the museum episode. (I say pseudo angels because the Flaming Sword of Eden is only debatably sentient and I don't think is considered an angel. Ophanim are also debatably not angels because they don't have wings (sorry for the angel tangent I like angels))
So wouldn't their true forms be angelic then? Well, yes. But I like bugs so. Also I have more headcanons to justify myself. I like to think that they have both a true-true form (incomprehensible to the human brain, probably exists mostly in a dimension invisible to us, that looks how we imagine biblically accurate angels), and a fairy form (which is visible to humans but is naturally very insect like and tends to scare people). So, in order to interact with humans, they have to learn to shapeshift into a humanoid form but will occasionally slip if they get too relaxed/aren't careful, hence the mandibles coming out when he yawns!
The reason they struggle so much more with human forms than the animals or objects they typically turn into is that, well, they aren't trying to convince those animals or objects. The more human they try to look, the harder it is to keep up convincingly. If you turn into a really uncanny squirrel, only other squirrels will notice. If you turn into a really uncanny human, they form a lynch mob and burn you at the stake.
#fop#fairly oddparents#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#headcanons#ok I think I said everything I wanted to#my brain has so many useless thoughts bouncing around in there#their bright colors would also imply that they are poisonous to eat#my personal theory is that Jorgen is half human idk how else to explain whatever he is. tall. no wings. that or he's something else entirel#maybe he's a higher rank of angel#fairies are definitely a type of angel in this world#but they don't seem to line up with any specific rank as far as I can tell#they behave most like I'd expect a Guardian angel to which could make Jorgen an Archangel or Principality#but Ophanims are in the first sphere of heaven which. uh I don't think it's right#to be clear I'm not even religious im just way too into angels#Uhhhh anyway I guess the moral of the story is that I did that just because I wanted to an because nobody could stop me#Actually Im just thinking about this now#I mostly drew baby poof without bug features to keep his design uncluttered visually#but fairies having naturally very human looking larva would explain how changelings happen#something something evolution. mutualism. those parasite birds. idk#ok im out of thoughts now seriously this time youre free now#speculative biology
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ultrakitties au from @sillaysii
ive been enamored by these lil creatures
earthmover side profile jumpscare
reblogs appreciated!
#birdcage rambles#birdcage scribbles#shippin hour#gabriel x v1#gabv1el#v1 x earthmover#earthv1#<- im making that a tag and nobody can Fucking stop me#ultrakill#ultrakitties#ultrakill gabriel#ultrakill v1#ultrakill earthmover#writhing around on the floor#ive been wanting to draw something for this game for so long but ive been stuck#cuz then id have to adapt to drawing new characters and idk man thats kinda hard#but then i saw these guys and was like oh hell yes#i can definitely draw cats#these r probably my most favorite drawings ive done in a while
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i lied and i messed around on a canvas instead spare me from your wrath......
#it would be soooo awesome if i didnt get stuck trying to start another ask#i really want to draw the next one but sometimes im just sitting there so instead i opted to just mess around with my favorite little brush#if i dont let him put his hair up into a cute little ponytail for whatever reason in ygm i WILL explode and melt away into a drain#bye!!!! goodbye!!!! see you!!! im dead exploded combusted into the goop the schlop the gloop the schlime#pleassse pleaaasssee let me OUTTTTTTTTTT PLEASE lte me do it please im begging#(nobody stopping me)#i love ourple canvas#i want to squeege him into a million bazillion trillion pieces#maybe he does that to paint or smth#waugh
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FUCK NAZIS
#AND TERFS#ALL OF YOU PLEASE DIE HORRIBLY AND SCREAMING LIKE THE SNIFFLING LITTLE PATHETIC SACKS OF SHIT YOU ARE#that is all đș#not art#anyway im not shopping at walmart anymore. not that i wanted to. but yknow. if they let branded nazis walk around and nobody stops em#fuck that store actually#and fuck my dad for yelling at me when i said i think nazis should be dead#thats the most american thing i've ever said you can kiss my fucking ass
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Ashen Wolf Byleth & Teen Dad Yuri
The blade fell, and the beautiful ghost stepped away. âWe donât like surface people here. If you two are plotting anything, Iâll kill you.â
She said it so simply and easily, as if Dimitriâs death would be the work of nature or the Goddess and not her own two hands. Dimitri turned around, heart jumping into the throat, and met the eyes of his beautiful ghost for the first time.
The girl was solid, real, and around his age. She was wearing a strange, bastardized version of the Academy uniform, silver and embroidered with a strange symbol over the heart. Her hair gleamed navy blue and her lace stockings barely hid her defined thigh muscles. Her grip on her sword was excellent and her stance spoke of barely restrained power. The woman could kill him in a flash, and the stroke that cut his throat would shine like moonlight.
Like Dimitri loved a long fall and short impact, like he loved the light at the end of the tunnel, like he loved betting all in on the longest chances, Dimitri fell in love instantly.
I need to update Weekenders but there's about twenty reasons why I haven't done it yet. But while I've been posting it I've been writing a shitton of other stuff, only some of which is decent, so I thought I'd post the beginnings of this story while I finish up the New Game+ Claude POV fic. This is most of what exists so far, and I probably won't finish it. Writing Dimitri's POV actively made me feel more insane as a person.
TW for references and flashbacks to Yuri's canon past. Around 15k of an absolutely demented Dimitri, a deeply smarmy Claude, a disturbingly feral Byleth, and a Yuri who is just doing his best under the cut.
i.
Dimitri was rapidly growing obsessed with the beautiful ghost.Â
He tried to confess to his colleagues in the Blue Lions, but they just gave him sympathetic eyes and confiscated his training sword. A typical lack of faith in their leader, but Dimitri had to accept that it was well deserved. He was perfectly aware that Felix, Sylvain, Dedue, and Ingrid didnât believe in ghosts, much less beautiful ones. Mercedes, Ashe, and Annette believed whole-heartedly in ghosts, but they thought he was being weird about it. So Dimitri was silenced, ostensibly for his own good. It was for his own good - future kings couldnât exactly run around talking about beautiful ghosts - but it still felt like an odd form of betrayal.Â
And he still couldnât get her out of his mind. If only he had proof, Sylvain would make fun of him just a little bit less. All he had to do was be patient and wait for his time to come. Sylvain would see. Theyâd all see.Â
The time came sooner than expected, with unexpected company. Dimitri and Claude were walking back from an important (Edelgardâs words) and mind-numbingly boring (Claudeâs words) administrative meeting when he saw her again. They were walking a side path along the very edge of the monastery, using it as a shortcut between the main building and their own dormitory, and in the thick night their solitude was complete. Complete save for a shadow in the distance, darting from the forest and across the path like a minnow in a stream.Â
Dimitri dropped his books in shock. Claude stopped short, raising an eyebrow at him.Â
âWhatâs -â
âItâs her!â Dimitri cried. âThatâs her! Hey - miss, please wait!â
The books and company were no longer important. Dimitri set off after her at a run, only barely aware that Claude was hot on his tail. As always, the ghost disappeared almost instantly - she crossed the path and dove into the tall shrubbery against the stone walls of the monastery, where she disappeared. Dimitri had seen her appear from the ground and disappear into walls before, only barely visible from the corner of his eyes, and every time she slipped like water from his fingers.
This time was no different. Dimitri skidded to a halt at her disappearing point, pushing aside thick branches in a desperate search for terrestrial beauty. There was nobody and nothing - the girl had walked straight into the monastery walls. Foiled again.
âDammit!â Dimitri yelled. Claudeâs eyebrows jumped up. âI was so close that time!âÂ
âYou know curse words? I owe Hilda a hundred gold.â Claude poked his head over Dimitriâs shoulder, watching his desperate search without helping whatsoever. âWhat was all of that about? Did you see someone?â
âDidnât you?â But Dimitri already knew the answer, even as he said it - nobody ever saw her but him. âIâve been seeing this girl since I arrived at Garreg Mach. She appears from thin air and disappears into nothing. I suspect she may be a ghost. Iâve searched high and low for her, but I havenât been able to find her. And she slips through my fingers again!â
Claude hummed, scratching his chin. âNow that you mention it, maybe I did see a figureâŠâ
Dimitri rocketed upwards, snapping several branches. He whirled on Claude, who took a large step back. âYou did? Was she short, wearing silver clothing, unmistakably beautiful?â
Claude held up both hands in a plea for innocence. â...it looked kind of humanoid?â Figures. Dimitri turned back around, scanning the area again. If he could just follow her trail - maybe there would be a scent of death? Of ozone? Of the unknown? âHey, if it matters that much to you then Iâll help you look. Canât afford to rule anything out - even ghosts.âÂ
âYouâre a true friend, Your Grace,â Dimitri said seriously. Claude nodded back, equally seriously. âAnd even if she isnât a ghost, an unknown person at Garreg Mach is highly suspect. She doesnât seem to wear a habit, armor, or a uniform. Itâs our responsibility as leaders to investigate mysteries like this.âÂ
âUh huh.â Claude slipped into the thicket with him, easily fitting into the barren spots where Dimitri already accidentally snapped off all the branches. Dimitri was already seriously knocking on the castle walls, searching for secret passages or weaknesses. âBut not to tell a staff member?â
âI decided a while ago that I could handle this on my own,â Dimitri said stiffly. Wasnât like anybody was willing to help him, anyway. âSome endeavors are personal.â
âI know that feeling.â Claude hummed, and Dimitri heard the distinct screech of metal scraping on metal. âSo are you this invested because of the ghost thing or the beautiful thing?â
âWith the potential non-invited guest at Garreg Mach thing, Your Grace.âÂ
A terrible grinding sound split the night, and Dimitri winced. He was a bit sensitive to unexpected loud noises. Felix knew, and liked to sneak up on him and yell in his ear. âIâm a future duke and youâre a future king, Your Highness, I think youâre meant to speak less formally to me.âÂ
âWeâre both future leaders of our respective countries,â Dimitri said seriously. âIsnât that more important than a discrepancy in titles? Iâd like to show respect to you as it befits your station, not your title.âÂ
More awful screeching filled the air, accompanied by a final grinding scream and a muffled thump. âIs that why youâre the only person who calls Petra âYour Highnessâ? I think thatâs why youâre the only guy in this school she approves of.âÂ
âReally?â Dimitri asked, pleased. Politeness always paid off! âI simply think itâs disrespectful to treat her as anything less than royalty simply because she is here as a political hostage - an outdated practice that I believe - Iâm sorry, whatâs that sound?â
âOh, just opening a secret passage.âÂ
âI see. I just think itâs an outdated practice that ought to be illegalized, and just between you and me I actually highly disapprove of - Iâm sorry, a what?â
Dimitri turned around from his fruitless inspection of the wall for the first time and saw Claude squatting nearby. He had cut away the brambles surrounding the area with the tip of an arrow he pulled from somewhere, and a large manhole was resting on the grass next to him. He was currently sticking his head down a dark hole of indeterminable depth. Dimitri hadnât even noticed a manhole!Â
Well. If the beautiful woman was a beautiful ghost, then she had undoubtedly gone through the wall. But if the beautiful woman was an everyday extremely attractive girl, then the manhole might be how she had escaped so quickly.Â
Finally, a lead! A path towards her! Dimitri did not know why he was a little disappointed. Was he secretly hoping sheâd be a ghost? That would be a little impractical. Maybe he was just upset Claude had found it?
Claude popped his head back up, upside-down braid swinging back against his cheek. âNow isnât this interesting?â For the first time, Claude seemed invested. âThe sewer system doesnât run underneath this path. So whatâs an access point to the sewers doing right here?â
â...why do you know the sewer layout of Garreg Mach?â
âIâm a fan of a good mystery,â Claude said, completely ignoring the question. Perhaps. âHow do you feel about a little exploration on this fine moonlit night?âÂ
Oh no. Dimtiri abruptly felt a little anxious. âYour Grace, I donât believe students are allowed in the Garreg Mach sewer systems.â
âWhat if itâs not the Garreg Mach sewer system?â
âThat may be less allowed.â A little awkwardly, Dimitri added, âAnd I really wouldnât want to accidentally break a rule and get in trouble.â
Claude gave him a look of blatant disgust. Dimitri hung his head in shame.
Finally, Claude took pity on him. He sighed and clapped Dimitriâs shoulder - once in camaraderie, twice in sympathy. âYour Highness. Are you really going to let some little rules get in the way of you and your soulmate?â
Dimitri perked up. Putting it like thatâŠand he really didnât want to look uncool in front of Claude, who was probably the coolest person at the school⊠âI suppose Lady Rhea would understand if itâs for the sake of loveâŠâ
âAttaboy.â Claude shoved roughly at Dimitriâs shoulder, pushing him into the hole. âNow letâs dive into the sewers. Lords first!â
Thankfully, Dimitri wasnât obligated to fall down a hole face first. There was a wooden ladder descending downwards, warped and fragile from the damp air, and although Dimitri descended into the dark with no hesitation he had to force himself to move slowly and grip the fragile rungs with utmost care.Â
The darkness was absolute, and Dimitri and Claude navigated by feel. They climbed for what felt like ages, and Dimitriâs absolute concentration made the period of time span even longer. Claude prattled on above his head with some random thoughts and observations, but Dimitri was focusing too hard on the ladder to register what he was saying.Â
A boot knocked him on the head. Dimitriâs hands spasmed, crushing the rung into splinters, and his grip was completely lost. Dimitri bent backwards a terrifying foot before he righted himself and regained his balance, grabbing the side of the ladder and swinging himself heavily downwards. Of course, that broke the side of the ladder, and suddenly Claude was yelling a great deal of expletives as one side of his ladder began to slide downwards.Â
âLetâs readjust our approach,â Dimitri said mildly. He changed his grip to grab the two sides of the ladder, his metal gauntlets digging into the wood. âGet ready to slide, Your Grace.âÂ
âAre you nuts -â
Dimitri kicked off, taking his feet off the rungs and loosening his grip on the sides. His slide downwards was alarmingly fast, and he could feel the musty air rise up to meet him. Claude was still yelling, his voice echoing up the empty tunnel, and a familiar wave of adrenaline rose to wash Dimitriâs mind clean.
He couldnât help but grin. The wind tousling his hair, the swooping sensation in his stomach, the possibility of death and the high probability of injury - a recipe for excitement. Dimitriâs favorite sort of excitement - the sort that cleared out all of the nasty little thoughts that clouded his mind day to day, that made him forget all of his problems and memories and wounds and that focused him onto the present moment. It was a thrill that conquered all ills, and it was more or less the only time that Dimitri was ever happy.Â
His professor didnât like that about him. Before Garreg Mach, Felix was the only person who was aware of Dimitriâs little addiction, but the Blue Lions professor had sniffed Dimitri out fast and never stopped giving him a hard time about it. Dimitri honestly didnât think it was the professorâs business, but he knew they did not agree regarding that fact. It didnât matter - Dimitri wasnât about to change.
A light sprung from the darkness, and Dimitri immediately kicked his heels against the ladder and slowed his descent. The light brightened as Dimitri fell, and he was able to make out a hard-packed dirt floor just in time to bend his knees and soften his landing. The impact still rattled his legs down to the bone, but he hadnât sprained anything.
Dimitri immediately jumped backwards, watching Claude come to the same conclusion and slow his descent. Unlike Dimitri, he didnât stick the landing - he fell in an ungainly heap on the floor, gasping for breath and groaning. His hair was wildly mussed, and he looked a little green. His cape had ripped off his shoulders, and was currently hanging like a defeated flag several feet above their heads.
âWhat is wrong with you.â
Goddess, theyâd be here all day. âYouâre the one who kicked my head.â Dimitri wiped the splinters off his gauntleted hand, extending it down to Claude. Claude squinted at him in increasingly ill-hidden hatred. âCome on, have a little adventurous spirit. I thought you were here to explore the unknown?â
Claude pushed himself upwards, and Dimitri silently curled his hand and returned it to his side. Figured that Claude wouldnât want to touch him. An expected reaction, honestly. âSure I am. Now our way out of here is unknown too. Guess we have no choice but to press onwards.âÂ
âIâll lead the way,â Dimitri said - perhaps betraying the fact that he had no intention of going backwards. âI believe weâre already out of the woods. Look yonder - see the exit?â
There was, indeed, an exit. They had landed in a narrow rectangular room, and there was clearly a door at the far corner where the right wall intersected the back wall. Light shone from within, and Dimitri eagerly led them forwards towards the light.Â
He could even hear sounds, signs of life - the distant coursing of a river, and a familiar quiet symphony of sounds. They were the sounds of life - a soundscape of an ordinary day at the marketplace at the base of Garreg Mach, marked by shuffling feet and quiet voices.Â
âIs that people?â Dimitri whispered, excited. âWhat are people doing this far underground?â
âIs that people?â Claude whispered, incredulous. âDoes Rhea know about this?â
âPerhaps theyâre ghosts!â
But Claude just shook his head, and for the first time he seemed a little grim. He sped up, walking briskly until he overtook Dimitri. Dimitri fell back, letting him take the lead, and listened curiously as Claude muttered under his breath. Dimitri couldnât make out the words at all - too quiet, perhaps.
âGhosts!â Claude hissed. âPerhaps theyâre ghosts, thatâs fun, not dangerous -â
âMaybe theyâre an army of ghosts,â Dimitri volunteered. Claude hissed something that sounded suspiciously similar to the Almyran term for the Fodlan ethnic group. He probably mishead. âHonestly, Claude, what happened to your thirst for adventure -â
âI thought I would get to see Dimitri Blaiddyd stomp through some sewers for an hour! I didnât expect to stumble into real life people!â Claude stopped at the entryway, peering forward into the cavernous expanse beyond them. Dimitri stopped too. Quite involuntarily. âHoly - thatâs a settlement! What is a settlement doing underneath - thatâs a village! Thereâs no way Rhea doesnât know about that. What else is that woman hiding?â
Dimitri coughed, frozen perfectly still. Cold steel kissed his neck. âAh. Er. Some help?âÂ
Claude ignored him, steadily working himself up. Dimitri had never seen Claude actually unbalanced before. It was unsettling. âJust when I thought I had five percent of that woman figured out, she pulls the rug on me again. Iâll never get anything good out of her this way. Canât believe Iâm saying this, but I might have to fall back on the B&E plan -â
âSome help, Claude!â
Instantly, Claude said, âWhat B&E plan?â
âDonât move,â the beautiful ghost said.Â
Claude turned around.Â
Dimitri had to assume it was the beautiful ghost. The sword was raised against his neck upwards, showing that the wielder had to significantly lift her arm to hold it. The voice was unmistakably a womanâs, light and delicate and young. It wasnât ethereal - rather, it was solid, as solid as the steel against his skin - but there was still something otherworldly about it.Â
Claude stared at Dimitri, wide-eyed. His eyes traveled downwards - yes, the ghost had to be short - and he froze just as solid as Dimitri for a flat second before he relaxed. Over Claudeâs shoulder, Dimitri could see the settlement stretching out before him - at the lean-tos and tents and shacks, at the people in rags milling about who were already beginning to stop and stare. The underground people were dirty, and the underground village was filthier. Dimitri immediately saw some elderly hugging the walls, and more foreigners.
Undoubtedly, Claude had seen what Dimitri saw. Claude was currently ahead of him - he was staring at the beautiful ghost with mouth agape, eyes wide. A hot flash of jealousy burst in Dimitriâs chest. Claude got to see the ghostâs face before he did! How incredibly unfair!Â
âHello, there. Sorry forâŠuh, dropping in.â Claude slowly raised his hands, showing himself unarmed. Dimitri wondered where he had stashed his extra arrows. âWeâŠcome in peace?â
The sword at his neck flashed. It was well-kept, but clearly old and cheap. âWho are you with.âÂ
âWeâre not with anybody!â Claude said hurriedly. Bizarrely, he had immediately adopted an accent - a thick, regional Almyran accent, coarse and rough. âPlease, maâam, stay your sword. Donât you have any idea who youâre holding hostage? Heâs a very important person. If he goes missing your entire house will be endangered. Itâs safest for everybody if you just let him go.â
The blade stilled. â...is he rich?â
âOh, very! I know people who would pay thousands for his safe return!âÂ
âWhat did I expect,â Dimitri muttered.Â
âAnd who are you?â the beautiful ghost asked. âAre you rich too?â
âI am but this manâs humble aide!â Claude said instantly. He bowed flamboyantly, with a distinctive Almyran flair. âA loyal and devoted servant am I, to His Royal Highness! My ten brothers and sisters wouldnât have two coppers to scavenge together to pay a ransom, honest! Tell you what, tell you what - let me help!â Claude straightened, pulling out his most roguish and charismatic smile. âLetâs be friends, Fodlan beauty. Give me your demands, and Iâll deliver them straight upwards all the way to the top. Iâll be back with thousands! You can give the pale boy back later. If you want. How about it?â
The sword wavered. The ghost spoke again, her voice laced with doubt. âYouâre both wearing the Academy uniform. Brother did say that the prince was attending school this year.â
âBeautiful and good intel sources! Surely youâve heard of me, the Almyran vassal that follows around the prince and attends school with him?â
Dubiously, the ghost said, âBrother says that the vassalâs DuscuranâŠâ
âI am disappointed that your brother cannot tell the difference between the Duscur and Almyran people!â
âItâs not like thatâŠâ
Claude promptly said something in - Almyran? When did Claude learn Almyran? The ghost said something back in Almyran, undoubtedly dubious. Claude pointed at Dimitriâs shoulder, showcasing Dimitriâs fine cape, and then at his own - and the distinct lack of yellow cape, which was probably still pinned to the ladder. The beautiful ghost murmured in assent - obviously Claude was a poor vassal, not a rich king, see his complete lack of cape.Â
The beautiful ghost said something, and Claudeâs eyes sharpened. He grinned and bowed even lower - a vassal to a princess.Â
In the Fodlan language, Claude said, âThen His Highness and his loyal vassal would be honored to hold an audience with the ladyâs esteemed brother.âÂ
âYou talk stupid.âÂ
âYou would really get along with my best friend, my lady.âÂ
âIâm not your anything.â The blade fell, and the beautiful ghost stepped away. âWe donât like surface people here. If you two are plotting anything, Iâll kill you.â
She said it so simply and easily, as if Dimitriâs death would be the work of nature or the Goddess and not her own two hands. Dimitri turned around, heart jumping into the throat, and met the eyes of his beautiful ghost for the first time.
The girl was solid, real, and around his age. She was wearing a strange, bastardized version of the Academy uniform, silver and embroidered with a strange symbol over the heart. Her hair gleamed navy blue and her lace stockings barely hid her defined thigh muscles. Her grip on her sword was excellent and her stance spoke of barely restrained power. The woman could kill him in a flash, and the stroke that cut his throat would shine like moonlight.
Like Dimitri loved a long fall and short impact, like he loved the light at the end of the tunnel, like he loved betting all in on the longest chances, Dimitri fell in love instantly.Â
âNight night,â the love of Dimitriâs life said, before hitting him on the back of his head with the pommel of her sword, drawing black curtains over Dimitriâs eyes.Â
__________
Dimitri sat in an office. A rather inauspicious turn in this kidnapping saga.Â
He was sitting down because his head still hurt. He wished he was standing and showing his future brother-in-law the respect he deserved, but his future brother-in-law insisted that he tend to his probable concussion and sit. Dimitri wanted to protest - the man had already personally healed him, and his head didnât hurt any more than usual - but the man seemed stressed enough, so Dimitri sat obediently in front of his desk. In an office. In an underground slum funded by the church. Which existed. Was that what taxpayer money was going towards?
Yuri explained the entire situation to him and Claude as he healed the bump and gash on Dimitriâs skull. For a given value of âentireâ - so far, Dimitri mostly just understood that the church organized a homeless encampment underground that accepted any members unconditionally and functioned roughly like its own little nation. The main encampment of Abyss was Garreg Mach itself - a basement floor of the monastery that had sunken into the ground after some unfortunate geographical events around seven hundred years ago. Dimitri wanted to ask if it was a possible problem that Garreg Mach was located in a sinkhole, but Yuri didnât leave much time for questions.
The name of the slum was Abyss, and its inhabitants had little contact with the outside world. There were children in Abyss who had never stood in the sun, and infirm who hadnât felt the sunâs warmth since they were well. Apparently the few inhabitants who regularly left Abyss used one of a series of secret passages in Garreg Mach, with entrances and exits that spanned the width of the monastery. These secret passages were very well-hidden, and an Abyssan well-versed in their usage could disappear and reappear throughout the monastery likeâŠa ghost.Â
They didnât have visitors very often. Not many people knew about Abyss, and strangely enough the people in the loop didnât care to visit a damp, filthy underground slum. They had even fewer Academy students fall down manholes and stumble into this inverted land of wonder. Hence why the sight of Dimitri and Claude caused certain Abyssans to panic. With their swords.Â
These Abyssans were named Byleth, which was a lovely name. Potentially alliterative, too.Â
âYour Highness.â Yuri was gritting his teeth together. âI amâŠso sorry.âÂ
âNo harm done,â Dimitri said instantly. He wanted to express to Yuri that it was actually a great honor to be harmed by his sister, but he didnât know how to say that in a normal way. âWe were the intruders, after all. Byleth was just defending her home.â He turned to Byleth, who was standing stiffly behind her brother in a perfect match to Claudeâs stiff stance behind Dimitri. Dimitri had barely taken his eyes off her, and yet she had failed to make a single facial expression. Fascinating. âYour swordplay was incredible, by the way. The way you held that sword to my throat was impeccable. I assume youâve been professionally trained.â
âHere and there.â Byleth looked pleased, making Dimitri feel like a star. She pointed awkwardly at the silver sword at Dimitriâs hip. It was the same old sword Dimitri always had - some antique of the royal family, passed down from generation to generation. âI like your sword.â
Instantly, Dimitri said, âThank you! Do you want it?ââ
Byleth hummed. Yuriâs eyes widened a fraction, and Claude stifled a groan. âMy sword is pretty oldâŠâ
âHere, take it.â Dimtiri immediately undid his belt and handed the sword over to her, belt and sheath and all. She held it up and admired it, testing its weight. Yuriâs jaw clenched. âConsider it my apology for following you uninvited into your home.â
Byleth nodded, twirling the sword easily in her hands. It was tremendously attractive. âApology accepted. Weâre even.â Her mouth twitched infinitesimally into something that may be loosely deemed a smile. Yuriâs eyes widened severely. âThank you.â
Dimitri looked away, coughing. His face felt like it was going to melt off. âYouâre welcome. It - ah, it suits you.â
âDo you think so?â Byleth asked, pleased. Perhaps. It was very hard to tell. Her voice was in a very strict monotone, but their deep spiritual connection meant that Dimitri could vibe these things out. âIt does match my outfit.â
Dimitri would never be able to think of silver again without thinking of her. âIâm hono -â
âYour Highness.â Yuriâs voice hadnât changed; nor had his words. His expression didnât seem any different and his body language hadnât shifted. But something about him was far now far less welcoming - something was different, all the same. âWeâre very grateful for your gift, and for the forgiveness youâve extended towards us regarding what happened. But it would be highly irresponsible of me to keep you here any longer. Abyss isnât safe for somebody like you and yourâŠvassal.â
âKhalid, sir.â Claude winked loudly at Dimitri, making absolutely certain that Dimitri understood that Claude was giving a fake foreign name. Yes, Dimitri picked up on that. âReally, wonderful place you have here. Very chic. Couldnât possibly be that unsafe - if we had a good tour guide.â
Frostily, Yuri said, âIâll have some scouts escort you back topside immediately. Iâm certain Lady Rhea is looking for you.â
âIt took her three days to notice that I tossed Lindhardt into a well, so Iâm certain we have at least that long.â Claude leaned forward eagerly. âWho founded this place? Whose idea was it? Why is it underground?â
âSomebody who is no longer with us,â Yuri said, curt and even. âIâm the leader of Abyss now. And as the leader, itâs my responsibility to get future leaders of Fodlan back to their cozy beds.â
Claude flapped an easy hand. âSure, letâs get the future leader of Fodlan back to bed. But this humble vassalâs awfully interested in this operation youâre running. Donât suppose you could allow me to run around a bit? Check some things out? See your tax records?â
âI think even vassals have someplace to be, Khalid.â
âWhy are you saying his name like that?â Byleth asked Yuri. She paused a beat. âNever mind. I donât care.â
âThereâs a great deal of places this vassal should be,â Claude said cheerfully, âbut I think thereâs only one place where I have to be.â He easily slid into the unoccupied chair next to Dimitri, leaning forward and folding his hands on Yuriâs desk. He had to nudge apart several scrolls of parchment and pieces of paper to do it - the manâs desk was stacked with forms, work, and quills. âLetâs put our cards on the table, huh? Thereâs a lot the church doesnât tell us peons, Yuri. Iâm willing to bet you know a lot of it. So in exchange for you telling me what you know, I donât tell Lady Rhea what I know about a certain somebody trying to lop off the head of the future king of Faerghus. Sound good to you?â
Yuri crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, one thin purple eyebrow arching. âYou have a lot to learn about the art of the deal, kid. What will Rhea say when she learns that Prince Dimitri and Duke Claude were out past curfew skulking around slums?â
âDuke Claudeâs happily asleep in his warm bed, and every member of his House is sufficiently paid to corroborate that story.â Claude smiled winningly. âKhalid is a humble vassal interested in touring your fine slum. Khalid might also have some other gossip that you might be interested in.âÂ
âLike what, kid?â
Claudeâs grin widened. âI might tell you tomorrow morning. After my visit.â
Yuri was silent. His eyes flickered to Dimtiri, then to Claude. He glanced at his sister. âBy, wait outside?âÂ
Byleth nodded and exited the room. Dimtiri yearned for her achingly. But Yuri just straightened, face as blank and unreadable as his sisterâs, and said something to Claude in Almyran.
For the first time, Claude was struck off balance. He looked at Dimitri, eyes wide, then back at Yuri. He said something empathetically, shaking his head, but Yuri just responded curtly.
In the Fodlan language, Claude said, âOn the honor of my father and mother, no. Iâm not trying to -â
âReally?â Yuri said. âYouâre a novice at this con artist thing, kid. Youâre too rich to do it well. Word of advice - donât smile like youâre hiding something, smile like youâre keeping a secret.â
Claude pulled back a little, and Dimitri saw that he was almost pouting. âYou donât know me.â
âI know things about you that you donât know about yourself.â Yuri looked at Dimitri, expression gentle and soft and bland. Like sheepâs wool, or dandelion fluff on the breeze. âDo you want to hang around Abyss a little longer too, Your Highness?â
Images of Byleth wielding his silver sword, flicking the blade in a deadly dance, spun through Dimitriâs mind. If he left Abyss now and never saw her again he would lose what little scrap of will to live he had left. Dimitri couldnât keep losing good things. He was running out.
âYes!â Dimitri said - a bit too quickly, a bit too empathetically. He coughed, forcing himself to settle down. âI mean - yes. As a future ruler, I should see how the other half lives. Itâs important for a ruler to understand the needs of all of his people.â
It was perfectly true. It wasnât what he was thinking, but it was perfectly true. Dimitri had the faint notion that perhaps he and Claude were missing the point of something important, something much bigger than them - than Claudeâs secrets or Dimitriâs love story - but the allure of secrets and love was fairly overpowering at the moment.Â
Easily, as easily as he said everything else, Yuri said, âMy sisterâs not on the market to entertain you. I can steer plenty of other lovely ladies or gentlemen your way, but sheâs a little busy with her own work.â Yuri tilted his head, looking at Dimitri through half-lidded eyes. Dimitri flushed a little. âIf you insist, Iâd be happy to spare some time for you. But Iâm afraid my sister is just too busy.âÂ
Claude stood up, chair skidding against the hard stone. âI just put my familyâs name on this! As -â Claude said something quickly in Almyran, which completely flew over Dimitriâs head. â - I am vouching for Prince Dimitri. I wouldnât even say that for me, but I can sure as hell say it for him. You can trust us.âÂ
Yuriâs face was unchanged. âIâve heard that one before.âÂ
And although Dimitri didnât understand half the conversation - although he knew that there was subtext he wasnât getting, that there were things about the world he just couldnât see - he understood the right thing to do well enough for now. Standing in the midst of Abyss, it was clear.
Dimitri stood up, bowing low at Yuri. âI apologize for our intrusion. I see that my classmate and I have overstayed our welcome. I have no desire to add to the heavy burdens you and your village already bear. Please, if you can help escort us back to the surface, weâd be very grateful.â
When Dimtiri straightened, he saw a peculiar look on Yuriâs face. It was a little thoughtful, and a lot of another foreign emotion. âWhat will you do now that you know weâre here?â
âAsk Rhea how we can help,â Dimitri said immediately. Left implied: and confess to our wrongdoings, like good children. âOr you, if youâre amenable. Abyss is not located within my lands, but I am aware that many places like Abyss reside in the darkness of Faerghus. If I can do anything for you now - learn what you can teach me - then I consider it education on how to provide for my subjects in the future.â
âHeâs sincere,â Claude said firmly. He stood up too, thumping his heart with a closed fist. âI havenât been sincere since the poisoned fig incident, but I can swear too. We just want to help. So let us help - it canât be every day you have two future leaders of Fodlan asking you what we can do for you.â
Yuri stared at them for a long few seconds, expression glazed smooth and unreadable, before he finally sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. âAnd I suppose you want my sister as a tour guide.â
âYou just said sheâs busy,â Dimitri asked, tilting his head in confusion. âI assumed she wouldnât be available to show us around.âÂ
Yuri narrowed his eyes - damn, the man was impeccable. Dimitri had attempted one subtle fib and he was caught out immediately. But the lie served its purpose, and something subtle in Yuriâs shoulders untensed. Dimitri hadnât realized that they were tense at all.
Yuri opened his mouth and said -
âBoss! Did we really kidnap the prince of Faerghus?â
The door thumped open with such immense force that it smacked against the far wall. A truly giant man strode inside, followed closely on his heels by a blonde woman wearing an unsettling smile and a short dark-skinned woman picking at a cuticle. On the tail end of the party was Byleth. She nodded at Dimitri, who nodded back in a daze.
âI told them you were busy,â Byleth said serenely.Â
âYeah, busy with His Royal Highness!â The large man stopped in front of Dimitri and carefully scrutinized him from head to toe. Dimitri allowed himself to be scrutinized. âDamn! What are they feeding you Academy kids these days? Youâre solid muscle. Not as much as me, but not bad either!â
Dimitri fought the urge to sweat. The women flanked the big guy, blinking at him curiously. âI train frequently.â
âReally? Guess Bye-Byeâs found another freak.â The dark-skinned woman yawned, nodding at Byleth as she stood at her brotherâs side. âYou should hang out. Hit each other with swords or whatever.âÂ
âGreetings to His Royal Highness and friend!â the blonde woman yelled, almost at the top of her voice. She put her hands on her hips, lifting her chin in the air. âWelcome to the home of Constance von Nuvelle! Our decor may be lacking, but our hospitality is second to none!â
âReally?â the other woman drawled. âI think the rats add some pizazz.â
âSilly Hapi! The rats are disgusting!â
âBye-Bye eats garbage too, but we donât give her a hard time about it.â
âHospitality, huh?â Yuri smiled, and for the first time it seemed a little real. âBalthus, obviously you donât have anything more important going on. Can you host our two noble young visitors? Who we didnât kidnap?â
âWe were a little kidnapped,â Claude said.Â
Balthus grinned, propping a hand on a hip. âI dunno, are you paying me?âÂ
Quickly, Dimitri added, âWeâll compensate you for your efforts, of course.â
âWait,â the dark-skinned woman asked the room, âare we holding you hostage? Because it sounds like weâre holding you hostage.â
âSold, kid!â Balthus thumped a friendly hand on Dimtiriâs back. He didnât stumble, which seemed to shock Balthus before he withdrew his hand and quickly covered up the motion. âYou look like a good hand with a weapon. Not you, Almyran guy, you look like a wimp.â Claude narrowed his eyes, but Balthus just looked backwards at Byleth. âYou should spar with our new friend, Byleth. Iâll finally get to see you knock a different musclehead on the ground!â
Constance squealed, clapping her hands. âByleth and the new children can play together! Oh, how heartwarming! Socialization is a rare opportunity for Bylie indeed!â She looked at Yuri and stage whispered, âWe cannot afford to lose this chance, Yuri!â
âByleth doesnât know a lot of kids her own age,â the dark-skinned woman told Dimitri and Claude. âSheâsâŠa little awkward.â
Byleth blinked at them.
âWow,â Claude muttered, âyou donât say.â
âI forgive you for holding a sword to my neck,â Dimitri said earnestly. âYou were doing the right thing.â
âSeriously, are we holding you hostage or not?â
 Yuriâs eye twitched. But his posture had fully loosened, and the presence of the strangers seemed to make him breathe a little easier. âWe arenât. And Byleth isn't a puppy we need to socialize, Hapi. You know how noble boys are.â
âNoble boy and his loyal vassal,â Claude added quickly, sticking stubbornly to the bit. Dimitri had no idea why, but Claude rarely vocalized his reasons for doing anything. âWhat do you think, Byleth? Want to hang out with us, or want to stay with your brother?â
Byleth stared at both of them unblinkingly. Finally, after a long few seconds of thought, Byleth said, âI want to train with Dimitri.âÂ
Hapi shot a canny look at Yuri. âBalthusâll supervise. Connie and I too, if you want.âÂ
For a long second Dimitri thought Yuri was going to say no anyway. Dimitri would have accepted it. It would have robbed Dimitri of the only good thing left in his life, but he would have accepted it. Good things came and left all of the time, and part of life was learning how to deal with that. Dimitri liked to fancy himself an expert in it. He could lose one more thing - one flash of hope.Â
But Yuri only sighed. âAlright. Supervised. Now get out of my office, all of you, Iâm far too busy to juggle nobility on top of everything else.â Claude perked up. âAll of you. You want to talk about Rhea - weâll do it after dinner.âÂ
âUnderstood!â Claude bowed at Yuri again, and Dimitri hastily copied him. âYou wonât regret opening your doors to us, sir!â
âUh-huh.â Left unsaid - he definitely already was. âOut of my office, then. Iâve been away for too long and I have a lot of work to catch up on.â
Byleth tilted her head, a frown tugging at her lips. âYou should leave less often. Your work piles up. It stresses you out.âÂ
Yuri gave her a big smile, as if he was keeping a secret. âBut if I donât leave, Iâll never experience the joy of seeing you again.âÂ
âYouâre corny, Yuri.âÂ
âLove turns even the best of us into cornballs.â Yuri and Byleth shared a look, empty and opaque, but in that blankness Dimitri saw something far deeper than he had ever experienced. âJust look at Constance. Every time she looks at herself in the mirror she gets sillier.âÂ
âExcuse me, my sweet Yuri -â
âYouâre excused, my darling Constance.â
âMust we fight,â Hapi panned, monotone and disinterested. âWeâre a family. Look. Youâll make the baby cry.â
Byleth blinked at Hapi. âBut I canât cry.âÂ
âLook. Youâll give the baby psychological issues.âÂ
Balthus laughed again, cracking his knuckles with a pop that echoed throughout the cramped office. âThisâll be fun! Itâs been a while since weâve had a good adventure, eh Yuri?â
âYes,â Yuri said, âthatâs altogether what Iâm afraid of.â
Truthfully, at that point Dimitri was no longer listening. He was just looking at Byleth, the girl who could not cry. And Byleth looked back at him, the boy whose heart was always crying. They saw each other, the heart-burdened and the heartless, and something in one reached out to balance the other.
And although the weight of the world above them crushed Dimitriâs shoulders, although they stood within damp and filthy slums tucked into the bowels of the planet, for those precious few seconds Dimitri and Byleth existed in the world with no obligation to anybody but each other.
_____________
ii.Â
Yuri was sitting in this bathroom fruitlessly scrubbing blood out of his one good outfit when he received word that Lady Rhea was requesting an audience. Because it was Rhea, he also received word that she was already waiting for him in the destroyed classroom.Â
Damn it! He had just returned! And he didnât have anything to wear!
In the end, he was forced to keep Lady Rhea waiting another fifteen minutes because he had to dig out an older, rattier outfit and re-do his makeup. Approach: âIâm in my twenties, my stare is cold and piercing, and damn it I belong in this conference roomâ. Then he had to waste another five minutes because his hair was a wreck and his hands still smelled like blood. By the time he finally speed-walked down the halls and skidded to a stop in front of the classroom doors Yuri was twenty minutes late and already fighting the urge to freak.
As always, he halted at the doors. He took a deep breath in, then out. His outfit was dingy, which made him feel like crap, but the power makeup helped pick up the slack. He inhaled, exhaled, shook out his limbs, and entered the classroom.Â
Rhea was standing in front of a blackboard, her back turned to the door. She was dressed in an old brown cloak, but with the hood down and her beautiful green hair left to flow over her shoulders the figure was unmistakable as Rhea. She was writing in beautiful and flowing script on the blackboard with a piece of stubby chalk, and speaking in a low voice to the child standing next to her. The child was staring up at her, eyes wide, chewing on a knuckle. Th childâs dark blue hair was pulled into a stubby ponytail, and she was wearing only a tattered black dress and swimming in a brown jacket sized for a large adult man.Â
â - your name. See, this is the BâŠlike âbyeâ. Can you say âbyeâ?â The child blinked owlishly up at Rhea. âThatâs alright. Youâll get it. Youâre doing a great job already.âÂ
Yuri coughed, and Rhea quickly turned around. With a strange start Yuri noticed that she was dressed down even more than usual, her face plain and wearing only a simple white dress underneath the cloak. Without her own makeup, she seemed tired. She smiled wanly at Yuri, who bowed back. The child turned around too, gnawing fastidiously at her knuckle.Â
âYuri. Iâm sorry to call upon you again so quickly after your return. Did all go well?â
âThe job was done.â Deepen your voice, sound older - sound disaffected, yet sincere. Yuri wondered if he would ever live long enough that he could stop pretending to be older. âThe deceased is no longer a threat to the church.â
âHe was a threat to the safety of Fodlan,â Rhea said firmly. Yuri wasnât sure about that one, but he did appreciate Rheaâs conscientious efforts to only toss absolute bastards into his pen. âIâm afraid I must ask something of you yet again, Yuri. This is important. I cannot fully disclose to you why this mission is so important, but please trust me when I say that this is a matter extremely close to my heart.â
Yuri straightened, folding his hands behind his back. He wanted to die a bit. Another important mission? As if managing Abyss, captaining his rogues, and assassinating bastards werenât enough missions?Â
How long would she keep punishing him?Â
But Yuri just bowed. It was no effort at all to keep his expression placid. âI can accomplish any mission you give me, my lady.â
âI know. Thatâs why Iâm trusting you with this.â Rhea put both hands on the girlâs shoulder and squeezed. The girl squirmed uncomfortably. You and me both, kid. âYuri, this is Byleth. Byleth, this is Yuri. Why donât you say hi?â
Byleth stared at Yuri, gnawing on her finger. Somebody probably ought to slap those knuckles with a ruler. She wasnât a young child - twelve or thirteen, perhaps - but the habit and the wide eyes made her seem younger.Â
Yuri gave her his special âtalking to vulnerable kidsâ smile. âHow do you do, my lady?â
Byleth stared at Yuri. A theme.Â
Rhea frowned, squeezing Bylethâs shoulder one last time before dropping her hands. âShe hasnât talked much since it happened. SheâŠdoesnât seem to remember anything.â
âAnything about what happened?â
âAnything at all. She canât seem to recall anything about her family or her life. Darling, you ought to get your knuckle out of your mouth.â Rhea ducked her head, staring steadfastly at Byleth. The girl slowly dropped her knuckle from her mouth, looking a little spooked, before Rhea lifted her head again. âByleth here was kidnapped. There areâŠsome forces in Fodlan that place great value in Byleth. I donât know how they learned about her, but they havenât left her in peace since they found out. Theyâve tried to kidnap her several times, but their latest attempt was successful. The Church knights were only able to rescue her two days ago. The knight who rescued her brought her to me immediately, and now I must bring her to you.â
âHave you spoken with Aelfric about this?â
âOf course. Heâs already given his consent.â Rheaâs eyes glimmered strangely in the light. Sometimes the only emotion from that woman Yuri could truly understand was the dark depths of her sadness. âDiscretion is of the utmost importance. The people after her will not give up.âÂ
Ah. Yuri understood. âDoes she have a valuable crest?â
Rhea put a hand on Bylethâs head, slowly stroking her hair. Byleth went cross-eyed looking upwards and gawking at the hand. âByleth is a very special girl.â
Alright, so donât tell him. âYou want to hide her and her family in Abyss?âÂ
But Rhea just shook her head, expression mournful. âByleth is an orphan. She will be alone in Abyss. Thatâs why I must ask for your help, Yuri.â
In the girlâs big dark eyes Yuri saw only trouble. Abyss sheltered plenty of people in hiding, but the people after Byleth seemed to be on a different level. If hiding the girl here brought danger into Abyss, thenâŠ
Then she was still a girl who needed help. Yuri would deal with any danger as it came.Â
âMadame Birch will be happy to take her in.â Yuri smiled at Byleth again, taking care to crinkle his eyes and gave it positive energy. âMy friend Madame Birch takes care of kids just like you, Byleth. Sheâll be so excited to meet you. I know some girls her age in your house whoâve been begging me for another friend.âÂ
But Rhea just shook her head, expression somber and firm. âThe forces after Byleth are powerful. I need to place her with the strongest person in Abyss - the person most able to protect her. Thatâs you, Yuri. Please take her yourself.â
Ah. What?
For the first time, Yuri had to fight to keep his expression and tone still. âMy lady, my workload frequently takes me out of Abyss.â
âThen I can reduce your workload.â
That perked Yuriâs ears. He was a fool for not recognizing it immediately. Rhea was desperate. Her emotional involvement in this was far greater than keeping a tool out of the hands of the enemy. Byleth had to be family somehow - maybe even a secret daughter. Having a secret daughter of Lady Rhea in Yuriâs back pocketâŠunder his exclusive supervisionâŠ
It was a death knell if anything happened to the kid. But the leverage was too good to pass up.
Fuck, he could even negotiate right here and now. He ought to send Byleth out of the room for this, but it was important that she understood what was happening and why. As much as she seemingly could - the girl may be a little touched. It didnât matter, obviously, but it would necessitate a change in approach.                Â
âWell,â Yuri said slowly, âthe greatest distraction from Abyss would be my jobs. I would like to stay in Abyss full-time. Give her a more consistent upbringing.â
Rheaâs eyebrow quirked upwards, but Yuri was unrepentant. She knew what she was doing by looping him in. âIâll reduce the quantity of jobs I assign you.â
âTo once every four months, perhaps.â
âOnce every two.âÂ
âThat would be highly detrimental for Bylethâs childhood development.â
Evenly, Rhea said, âGoing forth, I will give you a job every three months at maximum. Is that a deal?â
That was fucking fantastic. Yuri was almost lightheaded, but he pressed on. âSounds like a deal. But raising a child is no simple matter, my lady. Child-proofing the environment, educating her, feeding herâŠAbyss is run on a razor-thin budget. The expenses concern me.âÂ
Rhea sighed. âI will funnel more money into your personal budget to compensate for the expense.â Yuri waited patiently. âAnd into the Abyss orphanages. Anything else, Yuri?â
She could be such a sucker sometimes. Sometimes Yuri wondered if she let him do it. Definitely not. Probably not.Â
âIâm satisfied. Youâre as generous as always, Lady Rhea.â
âThis is in exchange for Bylethâs safety.â Rheaâs expression sobered, the soft silk solidifying into stone. âIn exchange for what Iâm giving you, I need her safety absolutely guaranteed. Nothing can happen to this girl.â
âNo need to fret, my lady. Abyss is the safest place in Fodlan. Nobody even knows we exist.â Yuri bent down a little, smiling at Byleth. She had regained access to her knuckle, and was chewing it fastidiously again. âWhat do you say, Byleth? Want to go home with me?â
If the girl wasnât touched, she must have understood. She must understand that the woman who would not admit to a relationship with her had just bartered for her residency with a teenage assassin, den mother, and prostitute. All things considered, the price had been insultingly low.Â
Byleth just stared at him. Alright, maybe she didnât understand. That would make this harder. Yuri really should have asked for more money. Teach the girl the first and most important lesson of her new life: that you should never sell yourself for less than what you were worth. Or market value, if you couldnât get any buyers otherwise. Maybe this was just market value.Â
Smile, Yuri. Smile. âI think weâre going to have a lot of fun together, Byleth.âÂ
Byleth blinked. At least she was a quiet child. This would be easy.Â
______________
This was impossible.
This was shit. Absolute and complete shit. Why wasnât she like Bernadetta? Yuri had thought she would be like Bernadetta. All Bernadetta did was nap, read, exhaustively detail the plot of her book, and cry. Byleth couldnât even read. Apparently, when children couldnât read, they decided to follow you around instead.
Everywhere. She followed him everywhere. When Yuri sat in the small storage room he co-opted as an office she crawled underneath his desk and swiped at his ankles. When Yuri visited the rogueâs encampments and gave the leadership its newly tightened security measures, she ran around the training field and started waving wooden training swords around. It took three rogues to wrest a sword from her. When Yuri made the rounds of Abyss and talked to its citizens, hearing every problem and offering every condolence he could, she hovered at his heels and gawked at every conversation with wide eyes.Â
It was like having another googly-eyed shadow. Yuri didnât have five seconds to himself anymore. He couldnât even visit the tavern and unwind by flirting with one of his regular hook-ups - something about having a thirteen year old (twelve? Fourteen?) hovering at your elbow really killed your game. This must be what the older girls used to refer to as cockblocking.Â
Byleth still hadnât said a word. She observed, but never really listened. Still couldnât read or write. She could catch the rats scuttling around the gutters with her bare hands. The girl may be touched. Which, again, didnât matter - but it made it extraordinarily difficult to convey to her the importance of âme timeâ. Or âdonât eat thatâ. Or âput down that swordâ.
It was official. Byleth was a demon. Figured that the wolf in sheepâs clothing would spawn a feral little wolf cub. Yuri should have charged more.Â
At least Aelfric had his back. The cardinal had little time to sneak down into Abyss, but he had begun sparing whatever time he could towards playing with Byleth. Aelfric practically begged Yuri to allow him to spend time entertaining Byleth, saving Yuri from the effort of begging Aelfric to take her. Last time Yuri checked, Aelfric spent their time together teaching Byleth her letters in the destroyed classroom. And thank the goddess for that.Â
âI donât understand why she didnât ask me,â Aelfric said, for roughly the hundredth time. They were sitting at a stone desk in the classroom, eating a coarse but filling breakfast. Byleth was cramming a hunk of bread the size of her face into her mouth. âI have my duties, but I would have gladly forfeited them for the sake of this child. Youâre barely more than a child yourself, Yuri -â
Yuri couldnât help but bark a sharp laugh. âYou do realize that you and my mother are the only people who have said that in a decade.â
âThat doesnât make it untrue,â Aelfric said gently. Yuri ducked his head, focusing on pressing a napkin into Bylethâs hands and directing her to wipe her own face. There was no way this girl even knew how to do her makeup. Ridiculous. âRhea shouldnât have put this responsibility on you. I donât know what she was thinking, honestly.âÂ
That made Yuri feel a little defensive. Byleth pushed away her plate, gnawing on her final hunk of bread, and Yuri pulled over her writing tablet. Aelfric had even sprung for a few pieces of paper and pencils dyed bright colors. Yuri hurriedly placed the paper and pencils in front of her. Last he remembered, drawing was an activity favored by younger children, but Byleth couldnât exactly partake in the age-appropriate activities of gossiping, bullying other girls, sewing, or reading. Goddess, did she even know how to sew or embroider? Yuri would have to teach her.
âI could beat anybody in Abyss in a straight fight,â Yuri said. He hoped his defensiveness didnât show. It was a little harder to hide with Aelfric. âEven you. More importantly, I know how to be stealthy and hide myself and others. I know the Abyss system like the back of my hand. As far as Abyssans go, I understand why Lady Rhea thought I was the best choice.â
âIâm not doubting your talent, Yuri,â Aelfric soothed, âI just donât understand why Rhea couldnât have put Byleth in the care of an adult. You have enough responsibilities of your own without adding another one on the heap.â
Yuri bristled. âIâm almost eighteen.â
âEighteen with the burdens of a thirty year old.â Aelfric sighed, and Yuri guiltily subsided too. It wasnât right to get defensive at Aelfric. After everything the man did to help him, he at least deserved the benefit of the doubt. âI just want you to enjoy what remains of your youth. Thereâs a sweet nun volunteering at the orphanage -â Yuri groaned. âYuri, why canât you hear me out on this?â
âYouâre always going on about finding a nice girl, Aelfric -â
âBecause youâre re-traumatizing yourself with all of these men,â Aelfric said patiently. Yuri looked down at his hands, restraining himself from picking at a manicured cuticle. âLook at you, Yuri. You havenât changed any of your habits. Youâre still trying to appeal to men. You have to begin to heal.â
There was something heavy and old in Yuriâs chest. It was a burden that never grew lighter - a pain that never retreated. The best he could do was ignore it. But Yuri kept picking at it all the same. âItâs not my fault that men continue to approach me.â
âBut itâs your responsibility to turn them down. And men wouldnât approach you so often if you didnât wear all that makeup.âÂ
When Yuri spoke, his voice was quieter than he expected. He had wanted it to be louder, stronger. But something had cut it down. âItâs not for themâŠâ
A small, bony finger poked Yuriâs side.
He looked over at Byleth, who was staring at him with her usual wide, serious eyes. She picked up her picture and presented it to Yuri, who took it and inspected the image carefully.Â
It was of them. The girl was a far better artist than he expected, and although the proportions were a little wonky Yuri could clearly recognize all three of them. They were sitting on crates outside of a tent - a tent that resembled the ones in Abyss, but was more reminiscent of a standard issue mercenaryâs tent. Yuri was drawn with great care, sitting straight backed on the crate and staring straight at the viewer. His makeup was exaggerated and poorly applied. Aelfric sat on Yuriâs left, wrinkles clearly outlined and his blood-red habit engulfing his figure. The red lines on the habit seemed closer to bloodstains.Â
In comparison to the rest of the drawing, Bylethâs figure was remarkably undetailed. She only drew the faint outlines of herself, with a few expressive lines demarcating an abstract face. The greatest level of detail was in the giant brown jacket she never took off - the careful impressions of its stitches and metal buttons were a strange contrast to the ghost wearing it.Â
âThis is excellent,â Yuri said, genuinely impressed. Sometimes it was easy to think of her as younger than thirteen-or-so, but at other times her true age was perfectly obvious. Even the ghostly Byleth felt more like an artistic choice. âI like your usage of color. Itâs very powerful.â He pointed at a spot in the upper left of the page, tucked in the corner closest to Byleth and furthest than everybody else. It was just a tight swirl of green pencil - the gradient of density between the thick middle and loose outsides giving the green a strange halo-like impression. âIs this the sun?â
Byleth gave him a disgusted look. Yuri could guess: âthe sun isnât green, moronâ. Potentially: âwhat sun? Whatâs a sun? I know only the Depthsâ.Â
âThen what is it?âÂ
Byleth tugged the drawing away from him, replacing it on the table and attacking the page with a pencil. Chewing the edge of the pencil, mind working furiously, she carefully wrote out a word. She stared at the word, scratched it out, and then tried again. She put down her pencil, nodded in satisfaction, and showed it to Yuri again.
He squinted at the page. In messy, juvenile script underneath the halo - with an arrow carefully drawn towards the halo, in case he missed the reference - she had written âSOHTHESEâ.Â
âSohthese?â Yuri asked, hiding confusion. âIs that a friend of yours?â Byleth shook her head. Then she nodded. âIsâŠthat a yes or no?â
âSheâs making great progress, but her spelling needs work. Let me see.â Aelfric held out a hand, and Yuri silently passed him the page. Aelfric took one look at the page and his eyebrows jumped. âI think she means âSothisâ. Is that correct, Byleth?â Byleth nodded vigorously. âWhere did you hear that name, Byleth? I donât think I ever told you that.âÂ
Wait. That name was a little familiar. âIs that the name of a saint?â Yuri asked. âI didnât know you were giving her catechism classes.â
âIâm not. And itâs the name of the Goddess herself. Itâs not very well used - typically only scriptural scholars use it with any regularity.â Aelfric frowned down at Byleth, and for the first time his expression seemed troubled. âWhere could you have heard that wordâŠ?â
âWow,â Yuri panned, âI wonder where the secret daughter of Lady Rhea heard the name of the goddess. The world may never know.âÂ
âPlease, Yuri, be serious.â Aelfric was still frowning, staring at the paper intently. Byleth gestured for him to give the paper back, but he didnât seem to notice. He just stared and stared at the paper, walking mental paths far beyond the provincial little world of Yuri and Byleth.Â
âAelfric, I think she wants the paper back.â
âWhat? Oh, yes.â Aelfric looked up, still somewhat dazed. âCould I potentially keep this, Byleth?â Byleth shook her head no. âI see. Thatâs alright, then.â He passed it back, and Byleth tugged it firmly out of his hands. She replaced it on the table, smoothing it over carefully.Â
âI didnât figure you for the religious type,â Yuri told Byleth. Byleth shrugged. âAre you going to become a nice nun too?â
âThereâs nothing wrong with marrying a good woman and settling down,â Aelfric scolded lightly. âA home and a family is the greatest joy a young man can have. If you donât change your behavior, youâll never find happiness. Iâm only worried about you.â
An extensive, agonizing rip split the air.Â
Byleth was holding up the carefully constructed drawing in clear view of both men. Making direct and unblinking eye contact, she looked at Aelfric and ripped the paper straight down between Yuri and Aelfric. Yuri and Aelfric stared at her in shocked silence as she finished cruelly ripping Aelfric from the paper, balling up his figure in one clenched fist and carefully replacing the cropped page on the table. Yuri, Byleth, and Sothis looked very happy together. Aelfricâs face was split in half.Â
Silence burdened the room. Aefric and Yuri gaped at Byleth in pure shock. Byleth happily took a blue pencil and began threading in streaks of blue in the green halo.Â
A bark of laughter escaped Yuriâs chest. His chest was light and full, and the thick iron bars that held his broken pieces together loosened and allowed him to breathe. Another burst of laughter escaped the abandoned prison, then another, and then the inmates began running the asylum. Yuri began wheezing, clutching his own stomach as he laughed uncontrollably.Â
Then Byleth laughed too, a light and ugly snort. It was the only sound he had ever heard from her. After weeks, the first and only sound Yuri had ever heard from Byleth was laughter. No tears, no screams of pain, no words begging for help, no moans for food - just laughter. A small smile painting the face of the girl as silent as death.
Yuri and Byleth, two prisoners unrestrained for the first time that they could remember, laughed together in defiance.Â
In the end, Byleth had given the picture to Yuri. She had forgotten about the whole incident after a few months - a few years later, when prompted about that picture and the Goddess, Byleth would just stare blankly in confusion. She didnât remember those days well.
Yuri remembered them. He remembered the picture too. He had placed the picture between two pages of a book and hidden it inside a desk. It remained in that desk for a very long time, and nobody but him ever knew it existed.
_____________
And then he lost her.Â
He lost her. Aelfric asked if he could babysit her for the day, and because Yuri was tired and wanted some time to himself and to actually go on a freaking date for once he said yes, and when Bylethâs curfew at 2100 passed she and Aelfric still were not home. Aelfric knew to get her home by curfew. He knew that Byleth had to stay in Abyss for her own safety. He knew.
Yuri combed all of Abyss, top to bottom. Images of Aelfric and Byleth floating face down in the canal flashed throughout his mind. But a rogue stationed at one of the entrances from the monastery into Abyss said that he let Aelfric and Byleth through the entrance only a few hours ago. Apparently Yuri had asked Aelfric to take Byleth to the chapel to pray. The guard hadnât thought twice about it. Yuri was Bylethâs guardian, but it was Aelfric. Some people were above suspicion. Some people could take children wherever they wanted.Â
Yuri sprinted back to his room and threw on his spare pilfered Academy uniform, stolen from the closet of a noble boy who should have known better. He pulled on the jacket as he ran, feet thumping in time with the omnipresent dripping of water and the squeak of rats, and his mind was nothing but blaring static as he unscrewed the entrance to one of the least-known entrances into the monastery.Â
He climbed the ladder at top speed, stopping only to grab the stone handle at the very top of the chute. He pushed full force against the handle, and after a second he heard the hard grind of stone on stone as the mechanism was activated and shifted the statue of Saint Cethlenn to the side. It was one of the finicky trapdoors that was almost impossible to access from above ground, but relatively easy from below. Yuri often had morbid daydreams about Garreg Mach falling under attack and how he would evacuate the entire population of the school out through the tunnels.Â
Yuri clambered out of the tunnel, hoisting himself into Setethâs office. He looked around - empty, but the sound of voices echoed from the adjacent room - and quickly stood up so he could push the statue back into place. The voices were Rheaâs familiar cadence and another unfamiliar deep male voice. In any other circumstance, Yuri would have cared about revealing himself in front of a stranger. Today, he barely thought about it. Yuri burst out of Setethâs office and skidded into the main chambers, ignoring Setethâs cry of alarm and the rustling sounds of the guardâs armor. Yuri only halted when he was directly in front of Rhea, looking up into her alarmed green eyes.
Yuri bent double, leaning on his knees and gasping for breath. Rhea leaned over him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. The other man in the room was absolutely huge, with big hair and bigger muscles. If it wasnât for the Academy studentâs uniform he would have assumed the man was in his thirties.
âWhoah,â the big guy said. âWhere the hell did you come from?â
âWhere,â Yuri gasped, hard and heavy, âis Aelfric?âÂ
Rhea paled, eyes widening. Fear. Why fear? âHe told me he was visiting you today. Whatâs wrong?â
âSounds great! So itâs official that nobody knows where Father Aelfric was, then?â The big guy waved around a thick folder of paper, one hand propped on his hip. âBecause I hung out in his office for an hour waiting for him to show up to our appointment. He said it was important, too! All this stuff about helping save me from expulsion. And the guy canât even show up? Weâre talking about my future here!â
âOur guard saw him taking Byleth to the surface!â Yuri cried frantically. The big guyâs brows furrowed, but Yuri couldnât be assed about him right now. âI canât find Aelfric or Byleth anywhere in Abyss! Lady Rhea, you have -â
But Rhea was already straightening and turning to the guards. In a tone he had never heard before, she said, âFind Cardinal Aelfric and bring him to me immediately. Shut down the monastery until he and Byleth are found. Nobody in or out.âÂ
âI know where he might have gone.â The big guy flipped the folder open, flashing messy stacks of paper and ripped pages from books. âI got bored waiting around for him, so I went through his desk.â No wonder this guy was about to get expelled. âNever knew one guy could get so into his ancient mausoleum hobby. Would you happen to know anything about this, Lady Rhea?â
Lady Rhea was silent. Yuri was still shaking. He should have been shocked, he should have been horrified. But he wasnât. Yuri knew. Yuri had always known, he just hadnât wanted to see it.Â
âThis is all my fault,â Yuri whispered. He wanted to throw up. He knew this sort of nausea - the kind invoked by visceral disgust at something you found within yourself. âI let him take her. I let him run off with her. This is all myâŠâ
The way Aelfric looked at her. The way he was constantly volunteering to babysit or entertain her for the day or homeschool her. Yuri had given him everything he wanted - every unsupervised visit, constant knowledge of her location, everything. Because Yuri had trusted Aelfric.Â
Trusted. He could be doing anything to her right now, because Yuri had trusted.
Hands, unimaginably large and hairy. Sagging flesh pressing against his own. Was this how Byleth felt right now? Were big hands on her chest? Awful pain, burning like fire. What did Byleth look like when she was in that pain? Did she make the same sounds he had? The squeals and moans. Did they like hearing them from her too?Â
âYuri. Yuri, you have to breathe.â Lithe, strong hands enveloped Yuriâs hands and squeezed tightly. The melodic sound of Lady Rheaâs voice barely permeated the haze. âYouâre at Garreg Mach, Yuri. Youâre in the home of the Goddess. Youâre seventeen. Iâm here. Nothing may harm you so long as Iâm here.âÂ
âThis is my fault,â Yuri gasped. âThis is all my fault.âÂ
âNo, Yuri. Look at me.â Yuri shuddered a final breath before looking up at Rhea. Her expression was intent, but she was still so calm and composed. Yuri couldnât say the same at all. âThis is my fault. I didnât share my suspicions with you. Iâm the one who encouraged you to trust him. This was - this was all me.âÂ
It was?Â
Rhea had known? Rhea had known that Aelfric wasnât honest? She had known that Aelfric would take Byleth and she hadnât said anything -
âI know.â Rheaâs expression creased, and a deep pain surfaced in her features. âI just thoughtâŠhe loved her mother as I once did. Surely he would feel the same as I doâŠbut I suppose not. People still disappoint.âÂ
Yuri tugged his hands out of Rheaâs, and she let them go. He scrubbed at his face, constantly fighting to keep hold of his breaths and sanity. He was not about to have another stupid flashback. He wasnât. Not in Garreg Mach and not in front of the stupid Archbishop. He wasnât going to catastrophize. Byleth was fine. He had fucked up and failed her and itâs all his fault that terrible things are definitely happening to her right now, but it was fine.
âI hate men so damned much,â Yuri muttered miserably. Some part of him was appalled that he had cursed in front of the archbishop, but every other part of him was far more concerned with far more important things. âIâm never trusting a man again. All men do is make children suffer.â
The big guy laughed awkwardly, passing the file folder to the somber Rhea before scrubbing the back of his neck with one hand. âOn behalf of men, I guess I have to apologize. I like to think weâre not all that badâŠnot that I can blame a - um, you, for how you feel. Tell you what, alright?â The big guy flexed an arm, as if he was at a bar trying to impress Yuri, and clapped his hand on his admittedly impressive bicep. âIâll save this little girl myself! Iâll chase down Father Aelfric, kick his ass, get that little girl safely home, and redeem men in the eyes of women and - ah, you, everywhere! Or my name ainât Balthus von Adalbrecht!â
A von Adalbrecht. Great. Yuri couldnât repress the sneer. âYour uncle yells the name of his wifeâs brother in bed.â
Balthus stared at Yuri blankly. âHow do you know that?â
âHow do you think?â
âOh. Oh! Oh, gross! Whyâd you have to say that, man!â
âBlame him,â Yuri snapped. âI donât need the help of some meathead nobleman. Iâll rescue her myself.âÂ
But Balthus just shrugged - as if this really was such a simple thing. âWhy canât we both rescue her?âÂ
âBecause I donât know you!â
âI just introduced myself. Balthazar von Adalbrecht, call me Balthus.â Balthus stuck out his hand, waiting expectantly for a handshake. âAnd whoâre you supposed to be, kid from nowhere?âÂ
âIâm nobody. You ought to forget you ever saw me.â Rhea was already going to give him an earful over allowing himself to be seen. But Balthus was standing so expectantly, and despite that awful little trivia Yuri just shared he was still looking him in the eyes. âWhat do you even want from me?â
âWhat, you think that just because I want to help it means I want something from you?â Yes, that was exactly what Yuri thought. He wasnât stupid. âListen, pal. Even nobodies need some help here and there. Iâm not exactly a saint, but any half-decent person would want to help you out. Since Iâm the strongest, coolest guy in Garreg Mach, that means I have to help. Itâs not exactly complicated.â
âThereâs no such thing as decent people,â Yuri said sourly.Â
Balthus whistled. âYouâre a regular beam of sunshine, arenâtcha?â
âI havenât seen the sun in weeks.â
âYou havenât what now?â
âTake Balthus with you, Yuri.â Lady Rheaâs tone brooked no argument, and Yuri had to give up. It was always a waste of time arguing with a noble. They would just take what they wanted anyway. âYou two will take our elite church knights and rescue Byleth. I can lead the way - I think I know where Aelfric and Byleth are.â Rheaâs expression darkened, sending something crawling up Yuriâs spine. Seeing a dangerous expression on her feltâŠwell, it felt more dangerous than usual. âI suspect he is desecrating a corpse right now.âÂ
âWow,â Balthus said, impressed. âWhat the hell did I just walk into?â
âCaptain Jeralt will arrive with the forces soon. Weâll leave then.â Rhea turned around, and Yuri and Balthus exchanged troubled looks. Her voice was poisonous. If she sounded like this, what expression was she hiding so carefully? âAelfric will learn what Bylethâs true family is capable of.â
âHell yeah!â Balthus cried, pumping a fist. âGo, fam!â
âWe arenât fam!â Yuri snapped. âWhat does that even mean?â
âBut Lady Rhea just said that the bad guyâs gonna learn what -â
âThat doesnât make you fam.â
âBut Iâm on the team, and the teamâs fam, so -â
âWhat is fam!â
At the time, Yuriâs only consolation had been the fact that he wouldnât have to deal with Balthus for very long. He was a strong fighter with a compassionate heart, but if Yuri never saw another wealthy and spoiled nobleman again it would be too soon. Yuri hadnât noticed when Byleth entered his heart, but that final and disastrous kidnapping session had proven it - whether they wielded the weapon or were the weapon, the people closest to you always hurt the most. Better to close your heart.
There were a lot of things Yuri hated about himself. The list was too long to count. But there was always one thing about himself that Yuri hated the most. One thing he just couldnât stand.
Yuri just couldnât close his heart. He just couldnât do it. Every time he failed, and every time he had regretted it. There was no benefit to letting people in. He just couldnât stop.
But Balthus had saved Bylethâs life that day. So maybe there was a benefit or two. Every once in a great while.Â
If you were lucky.Â
_________
Three days after Yuri and a moron saved a little girl from a bastard, Abyss received a visitor.Â
Yuri received him outside the ruined classroom. It would probably be more professional to bring him to Yuriâs office or something, but Yuri frankly intended to get rid of him as quickly as possible. Team up with the church knights once and suddenly they think that they have the right to go stomping all around Abyss. But you couldnât exactly tell the captain of the church knights to get off your lawn, so Yuri told Byleth that he would be back in a few minutes and stood outside the classroom in increasingly frustrated wait.Â
Byleth had made big eyes at him. She obviously hadnât wanted him to go. Ugh. He really hoped that this wouldnât turn into a surprise administrative meeting that took five hours and never accepted Yuriâs input into anything. Yuri was re-teaching Byleth poker - she had undoubtedly already learned before she lost her memory, which was another strike against the âsecret lovechild of Lady Rheaâ theory that had been admittedly punctured by the corpse of her mother - and she was unsurprisingly excellent at it. Girl was a genius in math.
But Jeralt didnât show up wearing armor. He was wearing casual, battered furs, leather, and a familiar canvas jacket. Surface people were always tense and anxious in Abyss, expecting to get mugged by rats with daggers at any moment, but there was a different quality about Jeraltâs anxiety. He seemed as if he was steeling himself for something.Â
âYuri.â Jeraltâs voice was always attractively husky, but it was closer to hoarse now. âDoing well?â
Yuri bowed, noting the bandage on Jeraltâs temple. âYes, sir. All healed up. And you? That hit you took looked nasty.âÂ
Jeralt huffed a laugh, rubbing the bandage. âIâve taken hits from bigger monsters. Donât worry about it. I would have come to visit earlier, but they only let me out of bed this morning.â Jeralt cleared his throat, shifting on his feet. âAhâŠis Byleth doing alright?â
âSheâs been having nightmares, but sheâs fine.â
âShe is?â Jeralt looked unreasonably alarmed. âIs she waking up at night? What are you doing to help? Tea -â
âSheâs been sleeping in my bed the past few nights, so Iâm keeping an eye on her.â Yuri eyed Jeralt, suspicions only growing. There was something off about this conversation. âCan I help you, captain?â
âRight. Ah, right.â Jeralt shifted again and coughed. Mysteriously, he took off his cap and held it tightly. âI was hoping to drop in and say hello. See how she is.âÂ
Like hell he would.
âByleth is busy doing her schoolwork.â Yuriâs voice could have frozen a flame. âYouâll have to come back later.â
âWe donât have to talk.â There was something old and weary in Jeralt. His husky voice was more of a rasp. âI just want to see her.â
Before he could restrain himself, Yuri snapped, âAnd why do you want to see her so badly?â
Snapping at the captain of the church knights. Fantastic. This was how you protected people - by alienating everybody else who wanted to help. That would do it.Â
Jeralt did want to help. The man had been withdrawn and quiet during their rescue mission, but he had been the first to rescue Bylethâs motherâs corpse and prevent it from melting into the monster. He probably would have been the first to rescue Byleth if Yuri hadnât gotten there first - if Yuri hadnât used a careful vein of magic to swap positions with her. Byleth had landed safely near the entrance and Aelfric had found a nasty surprise when he turned to look down upon a girl laid out on an altar and came eye-to-eye with Yuriâs dagger.Â
But that didnât mean anything. Aelfric had helped Yuri and Byleth too, and look where that got them. Yuri didnât know anything about Jeralt. He could have ulterior motives. He worked closely with Rhea, who was nothing but ulterior motives. The only person Yuri was certain didnât have ulterior motives was Balthus, who was just clearly too stupid.Â
Jeralt didnât grow angry or defensive. He just looked a little sad. Yuri crossed his arms, fighting the urge to bristle. âHow are you holding up, kid?â
âI wasnât the one who was kidnapped.â
Jeralt huffed a small laugh. âIt ainât exactly easy on the onlookers, either. Itâs alright if youâre not alright.â
âIâll persevere somehow.â Yuri was quickly losing track of this conversation. Why was Jeralt asking about this? âDid Rhea tell you to check up on us?
âRhea doesnât know Iâm here. SheâsâŠstrongly encouraged me to stay away from Abyss.â Jeraltâs mouth twisted unhappily. âSheâs right. I really shouldnât be here. I justâŠwanted to see her.âÂ
âAnd why is that?â
For a long, long moment, Jeralt didnât answer. Great. He couldnât even think of a good lie. He couldnât even say that he wanted to make sure she wasnât injured, or assure himself that he had gotten her out of there intact - Yuri would have even believed those bland excuses. But he had nothing to say for himself at all. How suspect.Â
The door creaked open, and Yuri spun around just in time to see Byleth poking her head out of the classroom. Yuri opened his mouth, ready to reprimand her and shuffle her quickly back inside where no suspicious men resided, but he was too slow. The second Byleth saw Jeralt her eyes widened, and Yuri saw her eyes light up for the first time.Â
âJeralt!â Byleth cried.Â
She dived forwards, and Jeralt automatically crouched down to accept the hug. They squeezed each other tightly - Byleth hanging on for dear life, Jeralt fighting shuddering breaths. His hand pressed on the back of her lead, warm and protective.Â
So she could speak. Yuri had been wondering. Her first word of her new life wasâŠJeralt. That was fine. Good for her. And Jeralt.
âHey, kid,â Jeralt rasped, throat thick. âHowâve you been?â
Byleth patted the top of his head.Â
Alright, that was enough. Yuri took the white collar of Bylethâs neat little navy blue dress, pulling gently until he reeled her back away from Jeralt. The effect was somewhat like a scruffed kitten, but whatever worked. Yuriâs carefully tied puffy twin pigtails didnât help the kitten impression.Â
âDonât run towards strange people,â Yuri scolded. âThis is why you keep getting kidnapped.â
Byleth wriggled around until Yuri finally sighed and released her. Jeralt slowly rose, but Byleth ran back towards him and tugged hard at his jacket. Jeralt raised a patient eyebrow, watching Byleth carefully.Â
Yuri had distantly noticed it before, but now that Byleth drew attention to the jacket it was obvious. It was a very familiar jacket. Not identical to Bylethâs old one - the giant canvas jacket that she never took off - but it was similar in fit and cut.Â
âWhat do you need?â Jeralt asked. Byleth tugged harder at the jacket, as if she was trying to pull it off him. âUse your words, kid. You can do it.â Byleth heroically attempted to rip the jacket from Jeraltâs body. Yuri made a strangled noise, but Jeralt didnât blink. âYou have to start speaking up sometime. I bet Yuri over there wants to hear your voice too.âÂ
Bylethâs eyebrows ticked together, but she finally released the jacket. She stared fixedly at Jeralt, who amicably allowed himself to be stared at. Finally, she said, âAelfric lost jacket.âÂ
Automatically, Yuri corrected, âAelfric lost my jacket.â
âAelfric lost my jacket,â Byleth parroted. She poked at Jeraltâs canvas jacket again. âI want the jacket again.â
Turned out that there was one way Byleth could be even more trouble - opening her mouth. Yuri sighed, already regretting his life. âByleth, youâre being incredibly rude. You canât just ask adults to -â
But Jeralt was already shucking his jacket, with no hesitation or thought, and passing it to Byleth. She brightened, clutching the thick material tightly and burying her face in it. She smelled it deeply, making Jeraltâs expression crease into something absolutely unfamiliar to Yuri, before swinging the jacket on and allowing it to swallow her up yet again. This edition went to her knees, looking far more like a baggy coat than anything else, but she beamed up at Jeralt in absolute joy anyway. She turned to Yuri, spreading her arms out and silently bragging about how great her new jacket was.
Something that should have been obvious weeks ago suddenly became extremely obvious. âYouâre the one who gave her that first jacket. The one she never took off.âÂ
âShe never took it off?â Jeralt smiled a little, but the weight on his shoulders only seemed to grow. âI gave it to her after I rescued her from her kidnappers last time. She was - ah, she just seemed cold. I assumed she had thrown it away or something.â
âYouâre the one who rescued her?â Hadnât Lady Rhea mentioned something about this? âWait - are you the one who brought Byleth to Garreg Mach?â
âYup. Itâs why I wanted to see her again.â Jeralt patted the top of Bylethâs head, who swelled her chest in pride. âSheâs picked up a habit of getting into trouble.â
That did explain it. No wonder he was invested. After so much work invested in keeping her alive, Yuri would want to check up on her too. Why couldnât he just say that?
Byleth looked seriously up at Jeralt. âThank you for the jacket.âÂ
âI knew you had manners in there somewhere.â Jeralt crouched down again, looking just above Bylethâs head. Yuri had noted weeks ago that she didnât like eye contact, but it seemed that Jeralt knew that too. âTry not to lose that one. But if you do, come right back to me and Iâll give you another one. Alright?â
Byleth nodded.Â
Jeralt sighed. He put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. Byleth leaned into the touch a little. âBe more careful from now on. Your world will only grow more dangerous as you get older. You have to be ready, so train hard.â Impulsively, he took the cap off his head and placed it on her own. It fell over her eyes immediately, far too large for her, but she hurriedly pushed it upwards. âListen to that brother of yours. His life looks hard enough already, so donât make it any harder.âÂ
Bylethâs eyes widened. âBrother?â
âBrother?â Yuri squawked. âPlease, Captain, Rhea hired me to supervise her. This is just an arrangement.âÂ
Jeralt shifted to look at him, and Yuri saw flint in his eyes for the first time. âWe need to separate Byleth from her past life even further. We donât know if Aelfric told anybody about the identity of Bylethâs mother. Connecting her to you is safest for both of you. Guess I should have asked first, but itâs a matter of her safety.âÂ
âThis is an arrangement.â
âThen arrange a fake relationship. You need some excuse for why youâre joined at the hip. Pretend sheâs some orphan you took in under your wing - itâs not even a lie.â Jeralt straightened, turning to look at Yuri for the first time. His expression was somber and serious, but he looked smaller without his jacket. âLook, kid. I admit I wasnât happy when Rhea passed her off to you. Rhea has her own reasons for everything she does, and youâreâŠâÂ
He trailed off, clearly struggling for political correctness, before Yuri took pity on him. âAn ex-whore who moonlights as Rheaâs lackey?â
âSaints, kid, thatâs not what I was about to say -â
âWhatâs a whore?â Byleth asked loudly.
Yuri looked down at her. âSomebody whoâs so good at something that they never do it for free.â Byleth nodded sagely, and Yuri looked back up at Jeralt. Jeralt didnât seem happy, but Yuri wasnât paid enough to entertain him. âAnd even if you werenât crass enough to say it, itâs the truth. You donât trust Rhea and I do whatever she says. Trust me, Captain, I wouldnât be happy either. You donât have to cozy up to me.â
âI wasnât happy because youâre seventeen years old,â Jeralt said firmly. Yuri rolled his eyes. Not this shit again. What was with adult men always reminding him that he was in his teens? Did they get off on it or something? âI knew Rhea would put her with somebody she trusted absolutely. I just didnât want that person to be you.âÂ
Of course he didnât! Who the hell would? Yuri was beginning to have a sneaking suspicion about Jeraltâs relationship to Byleth - nobody else would have thought to rescue a corpse before an imminent battle - and no self-respecting father would want their daughter around somebody like Yuri. Byleth was pure and innocent. As innocent as a thirteen year old could ever be - wiped clean of her old life, completely noncognizant of the world around her. How often had she seen the sun since she met Yuri? She hadnât even spoken before now. The girl had a damned imaginary friend, for heavenâs sake. Byleth was innocent in every way, and Yuri was filthy.
âSaints, kid, donât give me that face. Itâs not because of your background. Itâs just obvious that you have more than enough on your plate. Donât you have a city to govern? Evil errands to run for Rhea? I just donât know how the hell you have time.âÂ
âDo you think I canât do it?â Yuri snapped. âI have more than one skillset, you know.â
Jeralt exhaled heavily, scrubbing his face. âYou are the least charitable - never mind.â He was uncharitable? Maybe he just didnât buy stupid lies. âNone of this is coming out right. What Iâm trying to say is that you need whatever help you can get. Calling yourself siblings would make your life easier. But Iâm hardly going to force you into it. Do whatever you want, kid. Iâm not in charge of you.â Slightly quieter, he said, âIâm not in charge of either of you.âÂ
Yuri wanted to call Jeralt a bad father. He knew already that Jeralt was probably the best father heâd ever met. Taking up a job with somebody he clearly hated for the sake of staying near a daughter he was barely allowed to see. Who he couldnât even claim, because some mysteriously evil people were after her and she was safest in complete anonymity. Some fathers would cheer at the opportunity to ditch their daughters, but the pain in Jeraltâs voice was real. And yet he wanted to tie her to Yuri.Â
It would only contaminate her. He was already ruining her. Yuri had to stay away, he had to keep her out - if only for her own sake. To protect her from Yuri, and to protect Yuri from the world. Yuri couldnât let anybody else inside. Too dangerous for everybody.
But refusing Jeraltâs proposal wouldnât protect her from the world. And maybe a father was thinking about a factor that Yuri had missed completely.Â
The fact that her mother was a shockingly well-preserved corpse and her father had to disown her. Rhea was somehow related to her, which was bad enough, but she couldnât claim her either. Even Yuri had a mother. To the world, Byleth was alone. That wasâŠ
âFine.â Yuri had lost this battle. He had probably also lost the war. Whatever. He fought for his own side anyway. âBut I wonât force her to call me that. Sheâs not terribly attached to me.â Â
It was the rational thought. Yuri had repeatedly left her alone with a freak and allowed her to get kidnapped again. It was a miracle her real family hadnât fired Yuri the second she got kidnapped.Â
But Bylethâs brow furrowed in outrage. Yuri fought the urge to startle - he had almost forgotten she was there. âI like you.â
The words stopped Yuri short. He wasnât sure why. They werenât strange words, were they?Â
His hesitation must have been obvious, even to Byleth, because she promptly grabbed him in a giant hug. It was small, comforting, and warm. Her small body fit nicely next to his, and when he folded his arms over her he could almost envelop her.Â
Jeralt just gave him a wry grin. âI guess you were too far away to hear. Remember how I was right next to you when you swapped positions with her?â Yuri nodded. âWhen she appeared in your place, I scooped her up and put her on my horse immediately. I think she knew what had happened. She called out your name. Damn near tried to jump from my horse and run towards you too.âÂ
That didnât seem right. But she had hugged him after the fight, hadnât she? Balthus had called it adorable. Come to think of it, Balthus had asked if Byleth was his sister tooâŠYuri hadnât known what to say. He didnât know what to say now.
Jeralt propped a hand on a hip, smiling. âYou see that, Byleth? Yuri didnât know you liked him. From now on youâll have to speak up and tell him you like him a lot.â Byleth nodded fastidiously. âAttagirl. Hey, can you take that book from the inside pocket and pass it to your brother? It has something he might want to see.âÂ
Byleth eagerly separated from Yuri and completed the errand, pulling out a small book from a jacket pocket and passing it to Yuri. Yuri opened it and began flipping through it, just barely catching scraps of documents and notes that came slipping out.Â
âCheck the last few pages,â Jeralt said. âWe found it in Aelfricâs things. Actually, that klepto student found it. Is that guy a friend of yours or something?â
âOr something,â Yuri muttered.Â
Byleth stared up at Jeralt. âIs Balthus my brother too?â
âNo,â Yuri said.
Jeralt shrugged. âIf you want. Heâs rich, so maybe you can fleece him.â
âI already tried,â Yuri said distantly, flipping through the book. Something about four crestsâŠnotes on a very familiar crest. Balthusâ pilfered paperwork had already revealed that Aelfric had targeted him for his crest. That had burned. Yuri was trying not to think about it. âHeâs broke and only attracted to older women.âÂ
Pity, too - Yuri could have had an excellent sucker on that reel. He made his move during the âpost-rescue a little girl drinking party!â, but Balthus just pointedly pretended he didnât pick up on what Yuri was doing and started talking loudly about how Yuri reminded him of a hypothetical younger brother. It was frustrating. Yuri still didnât know why Balthus had helped him. There was probably a secret motive that Yuri just hadnât picked up on yet. Or maybe Balthus actually -
Yuri stopped short. This page was about Balthus. About the von Adalbrechts, and some sort of mysterious crest in their family legend. Right alongside a personality profile on BalthusâŠnotes on his attendance and conduct issuesâŠcharacter notesâŠrecords of meetings and conversations with BalthusâŠlists of broken school rulesâŠapparently psychologically unstableâŠ
Yuri flipped a page backwards. It was on him. He caught a few paragraphs on his history before he quickly flipped forward. He didnât want to know what Aelfric thought of his personality. Probably just called him a slut for two straight pages. Definitely marked him down as psychologically unstable.
But there were people besides Yuri and Balthus in the notebook. Right after Balthusâ incomplete profile, there was another name and short descriptor. Constance von Nuvelle. Another rich bitch noblewoman. Current student of the Fhirdiad School of SorceryâŠextremely high grades for her first few years at the school before they plummeted half a year ago. Now at risk of dropping out. Extensive record of conduct issues, same as Balthus. Aelfric made note ofâŠsevere psychological instability, whatever that meant. And a certain crestâŠ
Yuri flipped through Constanceâs profile until he found another. Hapi, no last name - a commoner. Extensive hypothesizing on the power of her crest and little information about her. Current resident of a church in the middle of nowhere. Psychologically unstable.
âThis explains why Aelfric was having those private meetings with Balthus,â Yuri muttered. âI guess we both have powerful crests. These two women must also have powerful crestsâŠbut why keep tabs on them specifically? Why keep tabs on all of us?â
âAelfric talked about blood a lot,â Byleth said seriously. Yuri really shouldnât have left him alone with her.Â
âI should contact Lady Rhea about this,â Yuri said. He continued flipping through the book - going through Yuri Leclarc, Balthus von Adalbrecht, Constance von Nuvelle, and Hapiâs profiles again and again. Four strangers placed right next to each other, thrown together by fate. âSheâll definitely be interested in learning about Constance and Hapi.âÂ
Byleth peered over his arm, trying to take a glance at the book. Yuri let her. She could barely read. Maybe secrets would incentivize her to keep learning. âAre they important?â
âProbably not,â Yuri said.Â
But even then, he had lied. Even then, he had already known.Â
Call it intuition.Â
#my writing#fe3h#fire emblem three houses#dimileth#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#claude von riegan#yuri leclerc#byleth eisner#fun fact. writing claude in his story was so incredibly fun#that i stopped writing this and turned around and wrote a#60k claude POV fic#instead of finishing this.#the claude pov fic is exclusively for me nobody will read it that is fine but it is fucking insane.
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"and im getting quality prompts too. why dont these ppl have their own blogs so i can follow them and rb all this premium stuff. "
Can't write unless I feel obligated to for the sake of somebody else :(
Scrolling through your blog and manifesting regular asks in 2024 to get me out of this hole đ
NO BUT. OK. I AM GRABBING U LIKE THIS
I HEAR SO MANY PPL SAY SIMILAR STUFF. AND HOW LIKE OHHHH I DONT RLY WRITE THIS IS NOT REAL WRITING.... POST THAT HALF BAKED SHIT. WRITE INCOMPREHENSIBLE PROMPTS. RAMBLE. SCREAM INTO THE VOID. thats half of what i do.
THERES TREMENDOUS VALUE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! if u guys posted all this stuff the community would be all the better for it bc theyre SO quality. i love u guys. if any of u ask senders ever make a blog to post these prompts or smth, or decide to start posting them on ur already existing blogs, whatever. just send me ur url bc i wanna follow. its such good stuff.
#maybe u didnt need the whole motivational speech#but some of my friends r like#'hehe i had this UNIQUE AND AWESOME AND SHOW STOPPING IDEA im just gonna share it in a dm w u :D'#then turn around and go 'man im not a writer i never write or post :/'#I AM. SHAKING U. BITING U. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED BLESS THE REST OF US PEASANTS#W THOSE THOUGHTS#PLEASE#clearly i am passionate abt this#but also im honoured im the one u guys share these with#and u expect me to bring these to life and do smth w them#very very honoured#but just letting all of u know that basically all the prompts i get or like 95% of them could stand on their own#thats all#ofc nobody is obligated to post their ramblings im sorry im just so so passionate abt this. bc this IS writing this IS creating scenarios#hhhhhhhhh#okay.#im gonna stop here before i give myself a heart attack#asks
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Missing kings smp so bad right now. Itâs like a toxic ex that I canât stop thinking about
#staring yearnfully at the 16 hour vods#i will not rewatch them. but in my head Iâm always there#happy princetech return to me.#i miss s1 sooo bad too. hello old friend. what is wrong with them.#in case you couldnât tell by my banner on tumblr and twt being the s1 minute and wemmbu meeting#head in hands. minute stop going on trips i want kings smp back#kings smp#nobody gets Wemmbu and Minute like i do#they canât stand each other. theyâre best friends. they hate teaming. theyâre always around each other anyways.
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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when i get home from school today:
@isopodonanescalator @richie-shitlips
it sounded very interesting and iâm debating watching it or going to target so i need someone to stop me from impulse buying everything in the store
#falsettos#musicals#seriously if nobody stops me i will buy everything in target and then some#and then iâll go to five guys and buy a bunch of food#and then iâll go get coffee and walk around the thrift store#so. you see my issue here#if no one stops me then i am doomed to eternal bankruptcy
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I AIN'T MARCHING ANYMORE a steve rogers playlist, start to finish
Listen on YouTube (click on images for full resolution!)
sam | nat | bucky
#steve rogers#steve rogers playlist#steve rogers edit#steve rogers fanmix#my edits#graphics#fanmix#nobody asked for this but I got distracted while writing so here it is anyway#this was actually a lot of fun to make#might fuck around and post some of these as a separate edit because I actually really like how the backgrounds turned out#stevebucky#to me. it's stevebucky to me#when i say 'start to finish' i mean we're ignoring endgame. obviously. steve gets to retire like a normal person and deal with his issues#sam bucky and natasha coming soon bc now that i've started i don't wanna stop#there's way too much arcade fire on here but idc it fits
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(TL;DR: demanding that people reblog your posts (especially serious) and telling people that they're bad people if they don't reblog isn't going to make people reblog your stuff. and you should actually stop reblogging stuff that contains guilt-trippy like garbage this).
#eyestrain#no id#reblog bait#important#i don't care how important the post is. if your post contains anything among the lines of âyou MUST reblogâ#or âif you don't reblog you're evilâ guess what!#i genuinely dont want you around me#like i know this is the reblog site but at the same time nobody is entitled to reblog your stuff#i don't owe you a reblog or even a fucking like for that matter#it's not that i don't care. i do#it's that i'm not comfortable forcing people to reblog stuff they don't want to#like maybe the reason people arent reblogging your super serious posts is because they don't like your guilt-trippy bullshit#(or they have misinfo that you refuse to correct)#(if the reblog bait was an addition from another user it's not difficult to delete it. it really isnt)#the âreblog or bad luckâ stuff is already bad enough#you don't need to apply this shit to serious stuff as well#also sometimes those posts contains info that's incorrect or even straight up false#reblogs are not mandatory. stop acting like they are#also reblogging stuff like âreblog if you're against bullying/hateâ does literally nothing anyway
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daily whistlebreeze until spo becomes PoV day 1398
I like seeing how different I can make gray cats by throwing Whis at them; anyways, Spotfur's been on my mind tonight
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#spotfur#windclan#medicine cat#warrior#mostly thinking about all the potential she has that was never really used#how Spotfur's rebellion flopped so badly by being Like That#and how she literally stopped existing in ASC#woman has a COMPLICATED relation with having children because her mate died#next arc she's just a generic queen#goddamn these books piss me off sometimes with how neglectful they are about their characters#and it's not like this surprises me. Let's remember I am DAILY WHISTLEBREEZE#I have been drawing a random nobody for nearly four years now and you can still barely give anything Specific about Whis from the books#yeah FrostWhistle. Whis is kind and helpful and they saved each other and it's cool#yeah Ivypool's heart is a thing#but does it really characterise Whis in any interesting way whatsoever?#in my opinion not really no#I've searched fro every instance of Whis appearing on screen and it's mostly Whis being thrown around by the plot or the other cats#or by a fucking rabbit#a few cool things you can say is how Determined Whis was to save Leafkit. that's something#and you could also say that Whis prioritising helping Frost above obeying The Code is something too#but you have to Extrapolate all of this#the books don't give you any insight on what's going on in Whis' mind#and they won't#and that's what they do to most cats in their books#and we all know it and we all just see canon happen and then take the bits that interest us and make it Better#and yeah Spotfur is one of those cats that would really enjoy that treatment#Spotfur has drama on both a political level and interpersonal one (Bris Stem her kits and even her siblings just fucking off n stuff)#and they made her such a weak character by giving us Spotfur's rebellion
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i took a dog for a walk for the first time and i have been cemented as a cat person forever and my want to ever own one has dissapeared
#what the fuck#shes a frenchie and still pulled my ass around#Like realistically its not her fault nobody trained jer#but#jesus christ#the entire Walk was just be being like#stormy dont eat your leash#spit out your leash!!!#stop eating sticks#stop#stop wiggling out of your HARNDESS!!#NO DONT RUN TO THOSE PEIOPLE#STOP!!#I need to keep walking her though...#nobody else will. its me or nothing#augh#poor thing
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Stop giving people moral ocd or I'm gonna pepper spray your underwear drawer
#You don't know what kind of activism people participate in offline you don't know if they donate to Palestine AND AO3#Unless you spend a lot of time with them in person (in which case talk to them offline- we don't need to see that)#You do not fucking know these people!#Stop assuming the worst in others!#Why do you feel the need to berate the broke bitch website for being broke bitches?#Some of y'all sound just like the âOh but you're not too poor to buy an iPhoneâ crowd#And imo that's far more embarrassing to be#Also some of the asks that have been going around ARE scams#And I have seen people who are verifying accounts asking you not to fucking share those#âOh but the scammers probably need it more than me anywayâ#1. If you're working minimum wage like I am no they fucking don't#2. Do they need it more than real Palestinians? The people you could be helping instead?#âLet's not play oppression Olympicsâ yeah okay!#Let's start by not shaming people who don't have money to share just because they're American and you personally don't believe they're poor#See how this works?#Also I HAVE seen at least 3 gfm reach their goals#2 raised the goal. One started a new gfm#So before you despair about nobody reaching their goals maybe check the notes? Just a thought.#I'm sure those 3 aren't the only ones
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I wish the hackers who took over my Steam account and my credit card this week would just hack my Nintendo Switch and beat the Little Nightmares 2 hospital mannequin level for me instead
#IT'S SO HARD#i feel like this must be what playing Dark Souls is like#literally ive tried the same little sneak past the creepy mannequins scenario 1 bazillion times and i just get one shotted every single time#and nobody in my household is a gamer who will attempt it for me#and like i know what you have to do!#ive watched the youtubers doing it#there's no getting around it you just have to be good at it#and you cant get to the rest of the game unless you do this part#(it's the part where 3 chase you at once and you have to shine a flashlight on them to stop them in place#while also climbing out a window before they catch you)#the one thing ive learned through trial and error is that it's easier to do with the controllers attached to the switch#but still hard enough that its making me rage quit every time#little nightmares 2 spoilers#little nightmares 2#p
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